Showdown in Dodge City
April 22, 2005

Dodgeball, the grade school activity where teammates fling large rubber balls at the heads of their opponents, is experiencing an improbable global renaissance on par with breakdancing, ridiculously flared bellbottoms, and the career of Mickey Rourke. And this time around, it's not just for kids. Just ask "grandpa" Mark Garriman and his Prime Time teammates, who are all over the age of 35, as they stand on the precipice of schoolyard greatness. Against overwhelming odds, this scrappy, gray-flecked Marin County five-some outlasted 63 predominantly younger teams in a grueling, day-long dodgeball tournament, earning them a coveted spot in the Grassmasters Super Duper Dodgeball championship match and a shot at the $500 prize money. After their hard-fought semifinal victory over a talented team of 10 th graders, I asked team Prime Time how they would prepare for the big game. "I'm going to take some Motrin," Garriman quipped. "And maybe lie down for awhile."  

The tournament, coordinated by Andrew Ledson as a fundraiser for a local semi-pro baseball team and held at the Summerfield Waldorf School in Santa Rosa, attracted 64 teams and nearly 400 competitors. The sidelines were packed with throngs of girlfriends, wives, children, and dodgeball enthusiasts (yes, they exist).   According to Ledson, there was such an overwhelming response to the event that more than 120 teams had to be turned away due to space limitations.

The tone of the event was generally light-hearted, as indicated by the colorful team names riddling the tournament brackets, such as the Dadblamits , Ball Sack , Barfly Audacity , and the Crapbags . Many teams dressed in costumes hoping to win the $100 prize, but none could beat the retro stylings of Michael Thomsen and the Reverend Seth Delicious from team I'd Hit It , who wore pastel jerseys, white headbands and flowing blonde wigs, recalling images of Bjorn Borg circa 1982.   I'd Hit It had advanced to the fourth round, and when asked if he had any special training techniques, Thomsen replied, "I been drinking a lot of 40's to get the biceps good and strong."  

In spite of the inherent goofiness of the event, the competition was fierce as players frequently challenged referee calls, peppering their protests with phrases such as douche-wad, ass-wrangler, and the cryptic Guarini , which I assume is a reference to first season American Idol runner-up Justin Guarini, as in "C'mon, ref. He was over the line.   Don't be such a Guarini." The beefy, goateed Street Team intimidated opponents with their ominous black shirts and Braveheart-like battlecry, and the match between Dodge This and Tank Dogs nearly erupted in violence. "It's weird seeing 30 year old men playing dodgeball because they, like, get all into it and stuff," said Alissa Greenberg, an 8 th grade student at Summerfield Waldorf. "But it's really popular. And it's all because of the movie."

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